ABOUt Me And
what I bring to the Table

What do I bring to the table?  Let's look closer at this metaphor.  If I invited you to my house and ate a meal while you watched me, most people would consider this rude, and they would be right.  If I asked you to come over and was going to have a meal, I would want you to share in it.  But this metaphor is not just about me cooking you a meal; it is about sharing in the cooking and eating process together.  It is a potluck meal that I am hosting.  Likewise, coaching is about working together to create something that is tasty, healthy, and filling.  Preparing and partaking together is what coaching is all about.  The meal that we want to enjoy together is about healthy, tasty, and filling relationships.  Although I do not yet know what you are bringing to the table, I can offer you, as your host, more about who I am and what I am prepared to set before you.

 

I bring to the table over 40 years of people experience.  I have been working with people for over 40 years as a minister, helping people discover and maintain vibrant, caregiving connections with God and others.  From the kids on the playground to the members in the boardroom, I have worked with people struggling to steer their life toward more healthy relationships.  I have helped individuals and couples identify obstacles and develop strategies to help them move forward.  

 

To this table, I also bring almost 40  years of marriage experience.  I knew my wife, Karen,  only 9 months before we got married.   I was 24 and she was just 20.  While I thought myself to be the mature, experienced member of the marriage, it was not long before we realized (her first) that I had a lot of growing up to do.  Although our first years together were good, we both needed to make changes to fulfill the vow: "till death do us part."  We faced the same areas of struggle that I have found plague most young couples: finances, outside relationships (such as in-laws), and intimacy.   We both realized that to build a new family we had to pull the good from each of our primary families' experiences and toss the bad.  Most importantly, we had to learn how to really communicate with each other. I bring to this, our time together, the lessons my marriage has taught me through triumphs and tragedies, successes and failures.  

 

To the table, I also bring family experience.  With Karen, my wife, we have raised three great adult kids who know how to build and maintain healthy relationships.  Being a part of their life has taught me so much about my relationship with God and others.  For example, when they were teenagers going through the common phase of wanting all the privileges without responsibility, it caused me to look in the mirror and question the balance of my privileges and responsibilities in all my relationships in life.  I bring to the table the things my family has taught me about me, others, and God.

 

I bring to the table the benefits of a unique personality.  It is hard to live in a box when your thinking is always outside of it, but I have learned to leverage both of these to help others.  Like all personalities I have learned to live with mine, addressing its weaknesses and building on its strengths.  My personality and skill set have helped break stalemates and present solutions to individuals, couples, and groups that helped them to move forward.  It is a unique way of looking at things, a product of who I am, that I bring to our table. 

 

I also bring a passionate desire to help others.  I have spent my life helping people connect in more intimate relationships with God and others. I enjoy helping individuals to connect in relationships that make them more healthy and productive in life.  I get excited to help couples to reconnect with one another creating more fulfilling families.   I have not only worked with singles who are looking for their first life-long love, but I have also worked with divorcees helping them discover and address obstacles preventing them from life-long partnerships.  I have worked with new sleep-deprived parents who, with bags under their eyes, just want to know how to survive kids and also with new empty nesters who are clueless about the next steps or what to do with all that free time.   I love helping people so much that I have chosen to donate my time in retirement to do so.  So, I bring to the table a desire to help that is free to you.  If you want to know what I mean by free, click the Free button at the top of this page. 

 

I bring to the table humility.   A statement like this reminds me of the guy who got a  badge for "humbleness," but it was taken away from him because he wore it.  Humility is a realistic look at oneself.  It is a sober, light-of-day, honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses. The person who is obviously great at something but denies it to others is not engaging in humility but far more likely false humility.  Humility comes from a self-awareness that is a product of successfully processing both negative and positive life experiences.  I have learned how to process both of them, building on my successes and seizing the new opportunities presented by lessons of failure.  I have learned how to celebrate my successes and failures without getting stuck in either of them.  As a result, I have created a process called Life By Design: Living by Design not by Default. This is a faith-based process that I have used to lead many individuals to greater self-awareness and a more realistic assessment of their strengths and weaknesses: producing great humility.   I bring my experience in this process to our time together. 

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Finally, I bring wisdom to the table.  While I do bring to the table a Bachelors of Art in Teaching, a Masters in Divinity, and some degree of intellect, more importantly I come with one of my primary values - wisdom.   The wisdom I have acquired has come as much from failure as success. My son was born when I was 30 years old.  For years I knew more than he did, but as he approaches his mid 30's, I find he has become more knowledgeable than me in many areas of life.  This is good. It should be the desire of every parent that their child should excel them in every area of life but one - wisdom.  This is not arrogance but the simple truth that I have 30 more years of life experience than my son or daughters, and, if I am continuing to grow, develop, and learn from my triumphs and failures, I should maintain a margin of wisdom that exceeds theirs.   Being older does have its perks.  I may not know everything, but I do know how to use what I know.  I am continually learning and processing more effectively.  Wisdom means, if you engage with me, that I don’t have to know all that you know to help you discover how you can use what you know to improve your  life and relationships.   ​

 

If any of this strikes a nerve with you and you are interested in talking more, look over the specific areas of coaching on the Services page and apply today.  If you have general question please using the Contact Form below.